The Unappreciated Spouse

At times, my spouse feels under appreciated. I know this to be a 100% truthful statement, also known as a fact. How do I know this? Because I am his wife and I too have felt unappreciated.

Yep. Bet you didn’t see that coming. OMG HOW DID WE GET HERE? ARE WE ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE? IS THIS THE END OF #TeamKEMP? Let’s see if I can answer those burning questions.


My husband works hard everyday to provide for us. He pays the bills on time, plays with his children, takes the trash out, and rubs my belly to speak to the third on the way. Sounds like a winner, right? Shouldn’t I run his bath water, give him daily massages, and make the night time fun, EXTRA FUN on a regular basis? Yes. I. Should. But I don’t.

As the wife I work hard too. I’m a housewife, homeschool teacher, toddler wrangler, maid, cook, minor repair woman, dog walker, and all while currently baking number three in my belly. Sounds like a winner, right? Shouldn’t he rub my feet, send me on shopping sprees, provide candlelit dinners, and anything else that will sweep me off my feet. Of course! He should. But he doesn’t.

But don’t fret, we are still great spouses to one another. We are still together forever, as Kevin always says “there are no life boats on this love boat.” When we get into a routine I always throw a spontaneous date in to mix things up. My husband is great for the random loving text message, flowers, and chocolates. We know how to show each other that we truly love and appreciate the amazing qualities we bring to our marriage. Truth is, no matter how much married couples try to remember, some days we will forget to say “thank you spouse for… I appreciate it when you…”


Here are some tips to stop the aforementioned feelings of under appreciation.

I believe that if you continue to do your job as a wife or husband, as described in Ephesians, then you are giving your spouse the ULTIMATE thank you. Time spent with each other, quiet gazing, hand holding, simple smiles, flirting, and a nice slap on the butt small gift are quick reminders of appreciation. A Social networking post or note in their lunch bag, car, or wallet is also a great way to show how much you care. Telling them via handwritten sentiment or romantic speech (over the Wal-Mart intercom, in your kitchen, etc) is always a great way to say “I appreciate you.”

The most important thing is to thank God for your spouse and pray that he molds you into what they need. Ask God to show you when your spouse is feeling under appreciated, overworked, stressed, etc. This may seem normal to some but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t truly pay attention to their husband or wife. When you notice your spouse in these situations then do whatever it takes to comfort them. That’s what you’re there for.

It only takes a moment to appreciate the one that you vowed to love forever. Make time to show them that you care and need them in your life. Don’t take their presence or love for granted. Your spouse is a specially crafted, one of a kind, God ordained masterpiece from The Most High and they deserve to be treated as such.

Check out this video for more on this wife talk series

Make your marriage victorious,

~Ta’Neisha K.~

Published by Ta'Neisha K.

Wife to a great husband. Mother to great children. My family is my ministry.

9 thoughts on “The Unappreciated Spouse

  1. Thanks for posting this blog. I have never been married and I intend to follow you to learn and grow so that when God blesses me with my Boaz. I will have some wisdom and understanding under my belt. I acknowledge that I will not know everything until I am in that arena. Best regards!

    1. That is a great thing to do. Never stop learning before or during your marriage. That’s what I love about the Word of God, no matter how many times I read it I learn something new.

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