Author’s Note
- This devotional does mention suicide attempts, but I implore you to actively listen past the tug of your heartstrings so you don’t miss the meat.
- People compliment me on my confidence, intentionality, supportive presence, and so much more. The character that everyone admires was, as the young people say, “built brick by brick,” because I’m committed to the call and the God that dialed my heart. It is my prayer that after hearing my testimony, you’ll understand me and my ministry even more. Ultimately, I hope we all continually grow in our connection to Him.
My Testimony
Did you know that in 2025, 194 children ages 8 to 12 died by suicide in the U.S., with annual rates rising nearly 8.2% since 2008? Black preteens face the highest overall rates. Behind these statistics are real children—children like I was.
At 11 years old, despite being saved, baptized, and filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidenceof speakingin tongues, I made my first suicide attempt. From my research, excessive consumption of pills would do the trick; however, I didn’t know Flintstone vitamins weren’t harmful. In fact, consuming all those vitamins probably gave me superpowers. God protected my ignorance, turned a container of Flintstone vitamins into non-lethal grace, and kept me alive. But by 19, sitting in a college dorm room, I tried again. Deep in the dark valley, I was ready to leave this earth.
Then came the shepherd’s staff.
In the middle of that final attempt, my 2-year-old sister called. I had never missed her call, so I answered one last time. She began to tell me how much she missed me, loved me, and how amazing I was. Through the fog of a creeping catatonic state, her voice cut through: “Sissy, I need you here with me!”
“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)
In Psalm 23:4 David likened God’s grace to the shepherd using his staff to reach into dangerous places and pull a stray sheep back from the ledge. God used my tiny sister’s voice as His staff to yank me back from the brink of death. I still don’t know how I made it to the toilet or shoved my long nails down my throat. That night, in the midst of vomiting, crying, and pleading for my life, I vowed to celebrate EVERY SINGLE DAY God gave me. I don’t know how or when I made it back to my bed. I just know that I woke up two days later and was grateful to have just slept the weekend away.
“He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3)
Over the years, through in-depth Bible study, Scripture memorization, prayer, and a few therapy sessions (when I could afford it), God began the deep work of healing the wounded child and depressed teenager inside me. He proved that life is worth living—even in hardship—because every victory is worthwhile.
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” (Psalm 23:5)
The enemy meant for suicide and despair to be the end of my story. Instead, God brought me to a feast of fulfilled dreams and answered prayers. He gave me the marriage, family, and household of my dreams, filled with pure love, laughter, and His presence. He matched my rib to a husband whose character reflects the gospel he preaches. Then gifted us children who walk into blessings we explicitly prayed for. Being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom wasn’t my original plan, but obeying God turned His destiny for me into my exact dream.
“My cup overflows… Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me.” (Psalm 23:5-6)
When I look at my family today, I see an overflowing cup. God did not forget me in my childhood bedroom, dorm room, nor in any trial that followed. His goodness and mercy were actively chasing me down all along. That is why I celebrate the silly holidays, honor my family daily, and rejoice every chance I get. I am living in answered prayers every single day!
Reflection & Application
- Where has God used a “staff” in your life? Think of the unexpected calls, words, or interventions God used to pull you out of dark places.
- Count your answered prayers: This week, take five minutes each day to write down three things in your current life that your younger self prayed for.
- Choose daily celebration: Honor the life God gave you today—even through something small—as an act of gratitude for His keeping power.
Prayer
Lord, thank You for being my Shepherd. Thank You for walking with me through the darkest valleys, even when I couldn’t see You. Thank You for pulling me back from the edge and restoring my soul. Thank You for preparing a table in the presence of my enemies so that all may see You get the glory out of my life. Help me to never take a single day for granted and to keep celebrating the abundance of Your grace, goodness, and mercy in my life. Amen.
© 2026 Ta’Neisha Kemp. All rights reserved. This content is protected by copyright law. No part of this devotional may be reproduced, republished, or distributed in any form without prior written permission from the author, except for brief quotations with proper attribution.
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